I’m still grieving for you

grandma.

dearest hill, benign presence,

always in my landscape

looking on, rooted in me

Part of my “I Am”

like the reassuring gravity of

solid earth beneath my feet

Always you were quietly there

So part of all I knew of life

I could afford the luxury

not to forget you were there

No, not ever,

but to accept without thought or question

the warm smell of love

And always you were quietly there

feeding us with memories

blessing rites of passage

journeys into adulthood

sharing hopes and bitter disappointments

with friendship, words and prayers

and laughter, often laughter

cards and letters now keepsakes

the voice down the telephone

Making me feel special

like I was the only one

growing in your garden.

And when you left us

the horizon shifted

the North star moved

the earth slipped on its axis

leaving empty air beneath my feet

and we all spun through the darkness

free-falling

each one for themselves

like petals falling from a tree

solitary but many

and my feet land on different ground

compass spinning wildly

searching for the hills.